


Now_playing_take_my_breath_away.mp3

by ConsultingStag



Series: 5y5t3m_t4sk_pr10r1ty01 [5]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor's system fucks up as usual, Hank fondling various things, Humour, M/M, Post good ending, Sorry to Connor's software, also featuring Hank who finds that hot as hell, featuring jealous!connor, some feels and angst to spice chapter 3, unequipped Connor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-06 05:11:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsultingStag/pseuds/ConsultingStag
Summary: Connor accidentally downloads a virus while getting his system shagged into a shut-down by Hank and it leads to some....unexpected situations that are either going to cause Hank a goddamn heart attack or make him want to slam Connor into the nearest wall and ravish him.aka the story how Connor's system finds a new and exciting way to fuck up when overloadedSet after System_err0r and System_0verl0ad but can be read as a standalone





	1. desire_expanding_like_the_universe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lis_the_reader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lis_the_reader/gifts).



> This fic is the fault of the lovely Lis_the_reader whose comment made me think of this and the idea wouldn't leave me alone anymore until this brainchild came into existence
> 
> Connor: *sees Hank*  
> Error pop up: now playing Take_my_breath_away.mp3
> 
> Leave a kudo, comment or complaint down below or shout about any mistakes in my writing
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!
> 
> edit:  
> bless Sunjinjo for beta-reading this thing <3

“You got a goddamn android STD, Connor,” Hank had wheezed, clutching his side as he doubled over in laughter.

“It is not an STD, but a virus, Hank.”

“It sure is, plastic boy. It’s something you got while having sex, that’s basically what a STD _is_.” Hank’s face had been flushed as his body shook in amusement and Connor couldn’t help but smile crookedly, pleased to know that he had caused Hank to look like that, even if it had been at his expense.

 

It had been an accident Connor had not anticipated. Hadn’t even noticed at all at first. Hank had caressed and kissed Connor, nipping at his neck and sucking on his fingers, effectively shutting down all higher processor and software functions. And Connor had been a moaning mess, barely able to help Hank reach his climax before his system had overheated, all but frying his RAM.

Connor had never expected he would one day be so grateful for the built-in backup RAM.

Somewhere during that timeframe, his system must have executed a wrong task because of an input error, resulting in a downloaded folder on his hard-drive he knew had not been there before.

**31324831751\downloads\best_hits_of_all_times**

**31324831751\downloads\магик_музик_микзер** **.exe**

The first folder had not been a problem, hundreds of songs that posed no harm to his system, so Connor had decided to keep it, since it was already on his hard-drive anyway. The second thing however had been more concerning.  A virus that would corrupt his system, though Connor had no idea what its effects would be.

Various scans had indicated that it was not detrimental to his system, and so Connor had decided to leave it alone for now, although he set his software to notify him immediately should the exe try to execute itself since he had not been able to remove it himself. To delete it from his system without trace he would have to go to CyberLife and that had been something Connor did not want to do unless strictly necessary, the thought alone enough to set off system warnings.

His decision had been to leave it alone until he had improved his knowledge in programming enough to be able to neutralize the virus himself and that should have been the end of that accident.

That, as it soon turned out, had not been the end of it at all.

 

**Counter_03Months18Days09Hours12Minutes15Seconds**

**Counter_02Months07Days15Hours07Minutes29Seconds**

 

“Never trust the damn weather forecast!”

It was late afternoon and they just came back from a walk with Sumo. Utterly and completely soaked, as halfway through their walk it had suddenly started to rain.

Connor found it interesting to move about in wet clothing, his software eagerly taking in the different sensations.

Hank however, did not. His hair had become slightly curly and Connor’s fingers were itching to touch it, curious to find out if it would feel any different than after a shower since there were no traces of shampoo or chalk from the city water in it.

**_Motoric_reflexes_error_detected_ **

**_Processing…_ **

**_Recalibration_advised_ **

Sumo got half the room sprayed with water before they managed to get him into the bathroom and Hank’s mood dropped further when Sumo rubbed himself all over Hank’s already wet clothing.

“Great. Now I look _and_ smell like a dog.”

“I like dogs,” Connor piped up, feeling pleased when Hank snorted but didn’t deign to answer, just shaking his head in amusement.

Hank looked down at his shirt – wet and plastered with dog hairs – and made a face of mild disgust, before starting to strip it all off.

Connor had planned to do the same, but when Hank pulled his shirt off, revealing a simple, white tank beneath, Connor froze.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

The white fabric had completely soaked through and become transparent, exposing grey chest-hair and stiff nipples underneath as it clung to his skin.

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

Connor was certain his LED was blinking an agitated red as his senses urged him to go and touch, explore and memorize.

Water droplets dripped from Hank’s hair, onto his shoulders, collarbone, making their way down, some disappearing into the hem of the tank and down into the curls of hair. Connor took a step forward, mouth opening slightly in anticipation.

**Executing_magic_music_mixer.exe**

**Processing…**

**Connection_with_fuckingphone_established**

**Now_playing_utopia_i_just_want_to_touch_you.mp3**

_**There's a flame in the back of my mind** _   
_**And it's burnin' for you all the time** _   
_**'Cause I just wanna touch you** _   
_**Do you want to touch me too?** _

Hank and Connor both startled as the phone in Hank’s pocket erupted with the beginning of the song. Cursing, he dug the device from his trousers, staring in bewilderment at the screen.

“The fuck?”

Connor blinked, camera defocusing momentarily as he checked his log.

Magic_music_mixer.exe?

He didn’t know that programme. The programmes installed certainly didn’t have names like that.

A quick scan and glance at the code showed him, that this was in fact the virus he had accidentally acquired. It was a relief to know it wasn’t harming his system, instead simply playing songs from the folder. Still, it was a rather unusual virus to programme. Connor had never heard of anything like it.

“Did you do your wireless connection shit with my phone,” Hank tapped the screen for emphasis, “because it says RK800 right here.”

Connor peered at the screen and the upper corner.

_Connected with RK800_

“It appears that the virus I acquired has the function of playing music without permission.” While speaking, Connor tried to forcefully end the task.

**Termination_of_magic_music_mixer.exe_failed**

Connor frowned, attempting to close the exe twice more, but there was no reaction aside from more messages informing him that the attempt had failed.

Connor looked at Hank who was staring at him comically, phone still stretched out, before shaking his head and chuckling.

“Sometimes I can’t fuckin’ believe you. You’re probably the only android that managed to get a fuckin’ musical STD in all of Detroit.” Placing his phone on the sink, Hank resumed to undress and Connor let his camera roam over Hank’s frame as the white tank was removed.

“It appears I am unable to stop the music.” Connor said, slightly flustered, after being caught staring and called out with a raised eyebrow.

“State of the art android who can’t stop a single goddamn song from playing,” Hank muttered, still chortling, as he sat down on the edge of the tub to try and wrestle himself free from his trousers.

Connor eyed the trousers, once more burning with the need to touch.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

He wanted to know how it would feel to remove the clinging jeans from Hank’s body. How much resistance there would be. How Hank’s skin would feel after being slightly damp for so long. If it would be softer than his skin usually was.

**_Motoric_reflexes_error_detected_ **

**_Processing…_ **

**_Recalibration_advised_ **

Connor stepped forward, song still playing its tune, and knelt in front of Hank in a swift motion. He glanced up briefly to see a questioning brow greet him.

“Allow me,” Is all Connor says, gaze coming to rest on the already open zipper and he doesn’t need to look up again to know that Hank’s face is split in a grin that is eager and wolfish as he spreads his legs as wide as possible to allow more room for Connor.

“I’m all yours, plastic boy.”


	2. the_moon_can_still_be_jealous_of_the_stars

**Counter_03Months20Days18Hours05Minutes33Seconds**

**Counter_02Months09Days15Hours43Minutes11Seconds**

 

The crowd was buzzing with excitement and energy as the latest game was transmitted at Jimmy’s. Hank and Connor sat side-by-side at the bar, Hank watching the game and nursing his third beer while Connor watched Hank and the other people in turn. Only occasionally glancing at the game when the crowd grew particularly excited or displeased.

He was sampling Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, trying and failing once more to understand the strong emotions that accompanied those sports games. The players being heavily emotionally invested, Connor could understand. But the brawls and fights that sometimes erupted in bars or streets over games and teams? Connor didn’t understand.

He had asked Hank about it, but the man had just shrugged and advised, “Humans are fuckin’ weird and stupid, it’s hopeless to try and understand us half the time.”

It frustrated Connor that he couldn’t comprehend it on anything else but a theoretical level. He wanted to understand, if just to understand Hank’s passion for the sport or at least the team and his joy when his team achieved victory.

Connor took another sip of the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, comparing it to various other brands he had already sampled on the occasions he had gone out drinking with Hank. Although he couldn’t taste the flavours properly he still liked some better than others. Connor preferred beer that fizzed a bit more in the mouth as he found the sensation against his tongue interesting.

He toyed idly with the label that had half peeled off and turned his head left to look at where Hank was sitting, facing away from Connor at the moment, watching the game with rapt attention.

Hank’s cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol – two drinks too many for optimal attractiveness according to studies, but Connor wasn’t sure if he would agree – and the temperature in the bar, crowded as it was. His gaze was trained on the screen, tension visible in his face and posture as the opposing team got close to scoring a goal.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

Connor wanted to reach over and touch the flush spilling over his cheek, to feel the heat beneath his fingertips.

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

But they were in public and Hank would not be pleased.

It wasn’t that Hank was embarrassed about people finding out that not only was his partner male but also an android. It was partly for their own safety, the aftermath of the rebellion still not having quieted completely. It was for their workplace. Their colleagues and boss finding out would lead to complications, complaints about relationships at the workplace and attract the interest and wrath of people like Gavin. Hank might be alienated like Connor often was and he didn’t want that.

**_Stress_level_13%_ **

Of course, their colleagues knew they were friends and lived together. But that and them also sharing a bed were two very different things, with the second evoking much more unpredictable reactions.

But understanding the reason and logic did not mean Connor liked it. There was nothing he could do though.

Connor frowned at his line of thought and instead tried to shift his attention elsewhere. Observing the crowd seemed like a viable option. Most were watching the screen, but there were some, like Connor, who did not have much interest in it.

Someone in particular caught Connor’s eye. A woman. As much out of place in this bar as Connor was. But that wasn’t what had gotten his attention. The fact that she was sneaking glances in their direction was not missed by Connor once he had focused on something besides Hank.

She would put her drink, probably whiskey or rum, to her lips and let her eyes wander over to them. To be more precise, towards Hank.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

**_Stress_level_14%_ **

Connor felt the frown creep back onto his face and did his best to smooth his features and was immensely grateful for the beanie Hank had insisted Connor wear.

 “There are gonna be enough drunk and angry people after tonight’s game that are gonna look for an excuse.”

Connor turned back, facing the bar and using the mirror behind the shelves to continue to observe the woman inconspicuously. She had long brown hair, tied up into a messy bun with a few strands swinging loose around her face, framing it. A dark blue shirt clung tight to her body and hung low on her chest, drawing attention to and lightly revealing the swell of her breasts. Connor didn’t like her though her facial features and overall appearance were close to the physiognomy most people had a positive response to.

He didn’t think she was a threat, her body language not indicating any sort of tension that clung to people who were preparing to do harm.

Some other patrons and customers were aware of her as well, casting glances and smiling with raised glasses when she returned them, but few approached her. In the twenty minutes Connor watched only one man went to her table to trade a few words and then go back to his own, shoulders slightly slumped.

Shortly after the game ended, with a win for Hank’s team – “Did you fuckin’ see that?! They’re gonna rock this season!” – the woman stood up and made her way over to the bar in decisive strides, coming to stand next to Hank and ordering another drink.

**_Stress_level_17%_ **

Connor pulled the label of off his bottle completely, fiddling a bit with it before tearing it into pieces as he watched her angle her body sideways so she was leaning against the bar and turned towards Hank.

**_Stress_level_19%_ **

Hank looked up at her and Connor gave up trying to not appear like he was watching them closely, his camera fully focused on the scene.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

The woman leaned forward, the view down her shirtfront unobscured and leaned closer to Hank, hand coming up to tap his cheek playfully.

“Hey there, handsome, would you mind spending me some company?”

**_Stress_level_24%_ **

There was something unpleasant in Connor’s chest as he saw her touch Hank when he couldn’t, not in that way while they were in public and he didn’t like it. Didn't like her touching him, and looking at him with blown pupils and sure smile around her lips. The feeling was fierce and sudden, strong enough to surprise him with its intensity and Connor’s mouth twisted a bit before he had his features back under control.

“Um – you, ah, seem to be a lovely lady and all but –“

**Executing_magic_music_mixer.exe**

**Processing…**

**Connection_with_smarttv714415_established**

**Now_playing_dead_or_alive_that_love_is_mine.mp3**

**_Give it back, that love is mine_**  
_**It should be mine exclusively, yeah!**_  
_**Give it back, don't waste your time**_  
_**That love belongs to me**_  
_**Give it back that love is mine**_  
_**All Mine, All Mine, All Mine, All Mine**_

 

Connor almost knocked his bottle over as the television screen suddenly turned black, cutting off the post-game discussion, as a pop song started playing at high volume over the speakers, effectively stopping most of lively discussions of the crowd that had been watching television.

**_Motoric_reflexes_error_detected_ **

**_Processing…_ **

**_Recalibration_advised_ **

“Hey, what the fuck, Jim!”

A few of the patrons started to voice their complaints over the music, turning towards the bar and Jimmy who just shrugged helplessly.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

**_Stress_level_27%_ **

Hank had frozen mid-sentence before standing up with a few muttered curses, gently shoving the woman out of his way while Connor was doing his best to pretend he had an invisibility function. Rifling through his pockets, Hank pulled out his wallet and placed some bills on the bar, nodding at Jimmy before turning back to the woman who seemed utterly confused.

“I’m sorry lady but, ahm– I need to go.” And with that Hank turned around to Connor, waiting a second for Connor to react to the prompt to get up before becoming impatient and just pulling on Connor’s wrist when Connor just sat there and stared at Hank’s shoulder, one hand twisting the fabric of his shirt between nervous fingers.

Connor got up, movements still coordinated although his mind was a mess, wondering if Hank would be angry with Connor for all but declaring their relationship to everyone who could put the various pieces of the situation together. Jimmy would surely be able to guess it, he knew Connor was an android, had seen him in his CyberLife uniform often enough with the glaring RK800 on it and now on the television screen. Stating for all to see that an RK800 model had established a connection with the device and put on a song.

**_Stress_level_29%_ **

 

 _**One thing I just won't do** _  
_**Is stand here peacefully** _  
_**And let you walk away now with my baby** _  
_**Good looks aren't everything** _  
_**But oh! I like pretty things** _  
_**And if you touch what's mine** _  
_**Then I go crazy** _

 

They made their way through the crowd, not drawing much attention as most were still complaining about the game discussion being interrupted and cool night air greeted them as they got out the door.

“Jesus fuck Christ, Connor,” Hank muttered, hand still closed tightly around his wrist as the door shut behind them, cutting off the noise of the people inside.

Connor stared at Hank’s broad back, upset with himself and the virus and being too afraid to go to CyberLife to be rid of it and dreading Hank’s reaction.

“I am sorry, Hank,” his voice was small, too loud and quiet at the same time in the dead of the night.

“What the –“ Hank stopped to peer at Connor’s face and Connor was not fast enough to look away, not ready for anger or disappointment. The face that greeted him was flushed, but not in anger, only bewilderment evident on Hank’s features as he looked at Connor.

Hank cursed as he took in Connor’s expression before looking around and dragging him into the alley next to Jimmy’s Bar.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

A hard, cold wall was pressed against Connor’s back as Hank crowded his front, hands placed either side of Connor’s face as much to steady himself after three beers as to keep Connor where he wanted.

 Connor had just opened his mouth to apologize again and assure Hank that he would go to CyberLife to have the virus cleaned off his system, when his head was knocked against the wall with a thud as lips, slightly clumsy with tipsiness, pressed against his mouth.

**_Stress_level_12%_ **

Almost instinctively, one of his hands moved to the back of Hank’s neck, fisting into hair and shirt alike as a tongue swept into his mouth.

Water, barley, hops, yeast, sugar, sodium, potassium, calcium, chloride, iodine.

His sensors continued to file every analytical discovery they could as their tongues mingled and Connor’s motoric reflexes began to grow imprecise.

**_Processor_speed_decrease_ **

**_Processing…._ **

**_Shutting_down_tertiary _and_quaternary_background_tasks_ **

When Hank drew back and rested his forehead against Connor’s, panting heavily, Connor was left dazed and leaning against the wall and clutching against Hank tightly for support.

“So, you are not upset with me?” Connor couldn’t help but blurt out when he was sure that his vocal functions were running smoothly.

He could as much feel as hear Hank sigh, nipping softly at his nose before leaning back a bit so he could lock gazes.

“Fuck, no, Connor.”

“But you had us leave the bar immediately,” he pointed out, because surely Hank would have rather stayed to watch the game discussion after the screen displayed it again.

“Because I wanted to kiss and touch you.” As if to prove that point, a hand had snuck beneath Connor’s shirt, distracting Connor from the conversation, but not enough to leave his processor speed in tatters.

Still, Connor wasn’t sure he was following Hank’s reasoning.

“But you wanted to watch the game and I interrupted it.”

Hank groaned, obviously concluding that Connor wasn’t getting the point.

“You were fuckin’ jealous, Connor, do you have any idea how hot that was?” He leaned forward, pressing their bodies together, hips jerking slightly and Connor shuddered, head turning to the side to allow Hank to nip at his throat, all tongue and teeth.

“Do you know much I wanted to just drag you into my lap right then and there and kiss you senseless?”

**_Stress_level_04%_ **

Connor whined as Hank bit down lightly at the juncture of his neck, hips rolling against Connor’s at the same time, growl low in his throat.

**_Temperature_sensitivity_error_detected_ **

**_Tactile_sensitivity_error_detected_ **

His mouth moved up, leaving a trail of wet kisses behind as he tongued behind Connor’s earlobe.

“I’m pretty damn sure this musical STD doesn’t just randomly play songs,” the voice was low and rough against his ear.

Connor made a noise in confirmation or because Hank’s hand had abandoned the skin covered by fabric to instead fondle Connor’s hand that wasn’t clutching Hank’s neck for dear life.

“Do you know what it does to me to know you’re possessive like that, Connor?”

**_Processor_speed_decrease_ **

**_Processing…._ **

**_Shutting_down_all_tasks_except_primary_ **

Connor wasn’t sure he could answer even if it wasn’t a rhetorical question, too busy trying to have his legs not give in beneath him as his body shook and he tried to keep the moan, that was working its way up his throat, in.

 

Later, when they were curled up in bed, Connor’s LED blinking a soothing blue, he was positive that he wanted to keep the virus for a while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no porn for you, kids  
> main reason is because it takes me forever to write smut scenes, too many limbs and stuff. Let's see if I'll remedy the lack of wank later on
> 
> Bonus:  
> imagine connor's system fucking up even more and connecting the security camera feed of the alley to the smart tv he's still connected to
> 
> Leave a kudo, comments or complaint if you'd like or shout out any mistakes you find! <3


	3. a_wish_like_the_stars_in_the_sky

 

**Counter_03Months25Days05Hours33Minutes56Seconds**

**Counter_02Months14Days16Hours28Minutes27Seconds**

 

The light of the setting sun shone gently inside the living room, as they sat on the couch, Hank to Connor’s right and Sumo curled up to his left. The television was showing some slice-of-life comedy show as Hank carded a hand lazily through Connor’s hair before leaning forward to grab the bottle of beer from the living room table to take a sip.

Connor could not understand many of the jokes on comedy shows, he knew what parts of the joke were supposed to be funny and elicit laughter but he could not understand why people would conceive them as funny. They were using untruths that were not humorous – like the zebra with a sunburn – and Connor would rather watch a crime show, even if they were littered with falsehoods and misconceptions about the reality of the profession. But there was always a chance that he could glean new insights or inspiration from them.

“I’m not coming home from work as a fuckin’ police officer to watch crime on tv.” Had been Hank’s opinion on that.

“This show is shit,” Hank said between two sips of beer and Connor frowned, uncomprehending.

“Why are we watching it then?” Connor did a quick internet search, “There are 42 shows airing at the moment that are rated higher than the current one.”

“Because watching shitty tv is part of being human.” Connor tried to convey nonverbally exactly what he thought of that reasoning as he levelled Hank with a look.

“Your faces when they’re making bad jokes are the best,” Hank finally snorted.

“I would rather make faces at something else, Hank,” There was a small smile tugging at his artificial lips as he spoke.

“Nope, I’m the one who gets to decide what we watch today and I say we suffer this.”

Connor shook his head, already searching what crime show to insist on next week even as he continued to watch the comedy on screen.

The scene cut to an old couple at home, playing scrabble and arguing over the spelling of a word while a dictionary lay right next to them.

And Connor was hit with a feeling so intense it caused him to startle slightly.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

Growing old together. Spending his life with Hank and experiencing all the struggles that would come with it. There was an uncomfortable sensation somewhere in his chest area that wasn’t caused by any of his components malfunctioning as he pictured Hank and himself in the couple’s place.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

**_Stress_level_39%_ **

It grew in intensity the more Connor thought about it and a warning message flashed urgently as he drew close to entering emergency mode as he couldn’t help but consider the fact that it would never be possible.  

Not like a human couple. Not like the couple on the screen as they realized that the dictionary was laying there but neither could read it because neither was wearing their glasses.

**_Stress_level_47%_ **

Connor couldn’t age. He could change his hair colour to match Hank’s. Could go to CyberLife to have his features changed to include deep wrinkles and age spots that would show the years that didn’t matter to his body.

But Connor would only be able to watch as Hank aged while remaining in the same condition as he was now.

**_Stress_level_54%_ **

Connor would be there long after Hank was gone, unable to follow naturally, his only option to stop maintaining his components or a more radical and quick solution. He couldn’t imagine just continuing to exist after his world would inevitably fall apart.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

**_Stress_level_70%_ **

He tried to shove the thoughts aside, not wanting Hank to take note of his LED betraying his inner turmoil.

It was good the way it was. He was content and happy. He was by Hank’s side. Was with him in every way he could.

They had a life together that caused Connor to smile and experience a warmth that wasn’t caused by his temperature modules, shared space and emotions.

It should not matter that they couldn’t share and experience mortality together the way human couples could.

Connor was _happy._

And yet.

**_Stress_level_77%_ **

He supposed the things that were unobtainable, so far out of reach that you could only try to get closer, fully aware that you would never acquire them, were the things that would only make you desire them all the more.

 “Connor? What’s wrong?” A warm and familiar hand on his face startled him from his thoughts.

Connor opened his mouth to say something, reassure Hank that he was alright but his LED was blinking red, red, red, making any attempt to lie destined to fail even if Hank wasn’t peering at his face with a concerned expression.

**System_task_priority01_do_not_make_hank_worry_failed**

**Executing_magic_music_mixer.exe**

**Processing…**

**Connection_with_** _**tv8945**_ **_established**

**Now_playing_lanae’_hale_let’s_grow_old_together.mp3**

**_Right turn, fall down_ **  
**_You're there to pick me off the ground_ **  
**_And I can't tell ya how you've turned my world around_ **  
**_You come closer your blue eyes_ **  
**_Have won me over and_ **  
**_I'll never be the same without ya_ **  
**_Here with me through the sun and the rain_ **  
**_I thought you should know that you're my hero_ **

 

The screen cut to black, lines of lyrics running across it as the song set in, momentarily distracting Hank.

Hank hadn’t been regarded as an accomplished detective for nothing and Connor knew it wouldn’t take him long to fit the pieces together and come to the right conclusion.   

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

Connor could feel Hank’s gaze return to him like a physical presence as Connor looked at his lap, trying to blink away the bit of wetness that was causing his camera to turn unfocused and his image feed blurry as he concentrated on the feeling of Sumo’s fur against his hand.

 

 ** _Let's grow old together_**  
_**With my heart in your hands and your hands holding mine**_  
_**We'll face the world together**_  
_**Cause you are the one I've been waiting to find**_  
_**It's no secret, so I can't keep it**_  
_**Cause it's true...**_  
_**Baby, I love you**_

 

“Connor,” Hank began, voice a bit rough and unsteady before stopping, clearly not sure how to continue.

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

There was a warm pressure against his temple, where his light was still blinking red before putting an arm around his front and hauling Connor atop him, Connor’s head coming to rest on Hank’s right shoulder.

**_Stress_level_64%_ **

**_Long day, come home_**  
**_When you're there I never feel alone_**  
**_And my cares melt away into your arms again_**  
**_Your smile takes me_**  
**_Just awhile to remind myself to breathe_**  
**_Cause your still the most amazing thing I've ever seen_**  
**_I thought you should know that you'll always be my hero_**

 

Connor made a soft noise as Hank lifted his chin and proceeded to place kisses on his brows, under his eyes, cheeks and finally his mouth. The kiss was slow, not meant to arouse but soothe and Connor dimly noted his stress level decreasing at a fast pace.

When Connor’s light changed to yellow, Hank drew back, breathing laboured and fanning hot across Connor’s face. Connor’s right hand was clutching at Hank’s back, left awkwardly trapped between their bodies.

**_Tactile_sensitivity_error_detected_ **

Hank stroked a thumb across Connor’s cheek as his heartrate calmed and breathing returned to normal and Connor closed his eyes as he took in both, reassuring in their steadiness.

**_Stress_level_23%_ **

**_Years turn us gray but my heart still jumps when you're_**  
_**Next to me**_  
_**I feel so safe cause you're still by my side on those**_  
_**Cloudy days and**_  
_**I'm so amazed by... You**_

 

“We can still grow old together, doesn’t have to be physical, does it?”

**_Vocal_modules_error_detected_ **

And Connor shook his head, crooked smile small but there and tugged at Hank’s hair until Hank leaned forward and their lips connected once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> urgh, I'm sorry Connor, my precious boy T_T I promise, no angst for you next chapter  
> was listening to a Bryan Dechart chat stream as background noise, his voice is so damn soothing and relaxing although weird while writing Hannor but it was either that or Mark playing Jurassic World Evolution and being a goof and that was too distracting lmao  
> next chapter is gonna be the last, but I might do like another musical STD fic where I put the ideas people suggested and I still have but am too lazy to flash out fully
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed! leave a kudo, comment or complained or shout about my mistakes <3
> 
> Note:  
> Bless all you guys who have been pointing out some of my fuck-ups! I really appreciate it <3


	4. motivation's_fuel_burns_brighter_with_desire

**Counter_03Months29Days15Hours43Minutes41Seconds**

**Counter_02Months18Days02Hours08Minutes36Seconds**

 

The notice had come two weeks in advance and Hank had been complaining about it precisely eight times in the span of ten days. Not that Connor was keeping track of it, his system had simply decided to count.

Just like it counted Hank’s calorie intake, the amount of liquid consumption, his average heartrate throughout the day as well as his blood pressure when Connor touched him. There were other trackers as well, though less precise, like a rough step-counter and one that did a sleep-cycle analysis. As well as the various bits of information regarding his health and overall well-being he obtained from Hank’s saliva and sperm on a regular basis.

 

_Hank stared at Connor for a long moment, face an embarrassed red, a hand coming up to massage his temple before he stared at the ceiling and heaved a long sigh. “You know, Connor, anyone else and I’d have a restraining order faster than you can say ‘robo dick’ –“_

_“Why would I – “_

_Hank held up a hand, stalling Connor’s comment._

_“Point is, what the fuck, Connor?”_

_“I find myself unable to delete the task my system set.”_

_Connor didn’t say that he wanted to keep track of Hank’s vitals. That he wanted to know if something was wrong as soon as possible. That he knew how unhealthy Hank’s lifestyle was and that it left him worried. That he wanted to slowly and steadily improve Hank’s health. That he needed the reassurance that Hank’s vitals were, for now, alright._

_“And what, pray tell, is that task?”_

_“A system task with priority one with the objective to keep track of your health and I am not permitted to delete or alter priority one tasks.”_

_“For the love of – you’re like one of those damn smart watches come to haunt me and I need a drink.”_

The notice had been sent by the health department with a time and date for the officers of their department to gather and engage in a friendly exercise of hand-to-hand combat to solidify the training they all had received when they started. As well as to see what techniques needed refreshing.

Hank had been grumbling and muttering unhappily about it, though Connor didn't know why. As far as he was aware, Hank's performance in martial arts was well above average in the entire police station and among the best in their department.

"Why do you not want to participate, Hank?" Connor frowned, trying to understand what there was to dislike about training. It was a good opportunity to improve yourself, establish a better relationship with your co-workers and observe their strengths and weaknesses.

"Because half the people there are goddamn hawks waiting for a show of weakness from an old guy like me. Especially fucking Gavin. I bet he's just waiting for a chance to pay me back, the petty shit." Connor refrained from pointing out that Hank could be equally petty. Apparently the two had never gotten along even remotely well and Connor had just been the tipping point for them to go from bad to worse.

"Judging from your current stamina and from what I have observed of your fighting prowess in hand-to-hand combat, I would wager your chances of performing exceedingly well at around 87%."

"My stamina, eh?" Hank leered a bit.

"Yes, according to studies, regular sexual activity can show an improvement of endurance. Which also translates to regular workout situations. And I can verify that.”

“I bet you can,” Hank grinned the grin Connor had classified as lascivious and motioned for Connor to go on as he went and opened a bottle of beer.

“Last time we pursuit a suspect, it took you 7,59% longer to get out of breath.”

Hank stared at him for a moment, clearly having expected Connor’s verification to be sexual in nature before shaking his head with a snort.

"Great, now I can tell everybody my android has fucked me into an improved health condition."

Connor looked at Hank in consideration and cocked his head. "Do you want me to add that to my tasks?"

Hank made a choking noise as he accidentally inhaled the sip of beer he was about to take, and Connor tried and failed to hide the grin that tucked at the corners of his lips.

 

**Counter_04Months02Days07Hours33Minutes05Seconds**

**Counter_02Months21Days13Hours47Minutes56Seconds**

 

The room was laid out with mats to prevent any injuries aside from a few bruises, and filled with twenty police officers, a sixth of which were desk workers and looked even less excited than Hank about the whole affair.

Hank had grudgingly put on an old trainings suit Connor had brought to work. The man had no doubt planned to forget it in hopes of not having to participate. The fact that Connor didn't have to take part in this training – or rather didn't participate because the view of some officers was still suboptimal at best – didn't help to improve Hank's mood either.

"Let's get this shit-show started so I can go back to my damn desk and question my life choices," Hank muttered next to Connor, arms crossed in front of his chest.

Connor hummed neither in agreement nor disagreement and drew his brows together, deep in contemplation. He wasn't certain how seriously Hank would partake, but he wanted Hank to do his best. If possible, he wanted Hank to show every police officer present that he wasn't the old, drunk, and angry lieutenant so many seemed to think he was. Admittedly, he was all those things, some in a relative sense, but that didn't even scratch the surface of what made Hank who he was, and the person Connor would do anything for.

He wanted the other officers to respect Hank for what he was still capable of and not for achievements that lay ten years in the past. The other officers knew Hank had a sharp mind. Knew that he was good at his job. Knew that he and Connor weren’t given difficult cases without a reason. But that often seemed to count little when they looked at Hank.

Grey hair, out of form and not as in shape as they were, not fitting in with most of them. The dynamics that determined who was at the top if the chain was often as simple as in the animal world. And Hank would find it hilarious if he knew Connor was thinking that.

The point was, they knew that Hank had a lot of qualities but would rather ignore them for the largest part because he didn’t fit their image of what a great detective was supposed to be like. Strong, dynamic, fit.

There were quite a few officers that were on good terms with Hank and Connor but those that weren’t looked down on them. It didn’t bother Connor as much when they cast him disdainful glances, already used to it from too many narrow-minded people his software immediately discarded as unimportant. But it bothered him when he noticed people looking at Hank and muttering in low voices.

If Hank could show dominance here, today, then Connor was hopeful that some of those muttering voices would disappear or at least change in tone.

"How do you think you will fare, lieutenant?" Connor kept his voice low, now wanting to draw any attention to them, though stood at the far back, crowd in front.

"Hmm, I don't know,” Hank shrugged. “I'll just try to get a placing that won't let them say I'm too old for the job and then I don't give a fuck."

Connor had expected this already and considered what to do about it beforehand. The incentive theory of motivation had resonated well with Connor, so his decision about what to do didn’t take long.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

Connor placed a hand on Hank's shoulder – LED blinking yellow once at what he was about to say before turning blue again – and pulled so Hank would lean towards him a little.

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

Connor leaned forward, lips almost brushing against the shell of Hank’s ear and the tickle of hairs was registered by his tactile sensitivity modules. "Lieutenant, if you manage to place first I'll let you fuck my mouth in the unused room down in the basement."

Hank jerked back a bit and his head snapped around fast enough to give Connor reason to worry about his neck muscles. There was a slight flush working its way up his neck and his pupils were dilated.

Connor marveled at the reaction this single sentence had wrung from Hank, camera eagerly taking in every detail about the man, no matter how miniscule.

“Fuck, Connor, you want everyone to know that I can still get hard at my age?” Hank hissed as he covered his reddening face with a hand.

“What do you say to my proposition, Lieutenant?”

Hank rubbed a hand over his face before cursing and looking at Connor with a hungry grin. “You can bet your sweet plastic ass I’m gonna get first place with a damn A+ and gold stars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter but I didn't have time to finish it with exams so I'm just gonna post the first part now. I got the rest planned out already so it shouldn't take long to finish.
> 
> Connor: *makes bold sexual statements*  
> Hank: *suffers near heart-attack* who has corrupted you like this  
> Connor:  
> Hank: well, shit
> 
> take a guess what song I have planned for next chapter, one hint, it's rather explicit in a weird tech way
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjyoed! Kudos, comment, complaints and the pointing out of mistakes are all welcome down below :3


	5. thirst_filled_atoms_rotate_around_salvation

"And I don't want to see any injuries that could have been avoided," Fowler ended with a pointed glance towards a few hot-blooded officers.

There was a general nod of consent from the crowd and then the first pairs went up. A scrawny man named Kevin, one of the particularly unhappy looking desk workers, and the much tougher looking Bob. Connor thought that Kevin had gotten a good partner to exchange techniques with. Bob was a pleasant man, easy to get along with and not someone that would pick on someone just because he could.

The match ended with an over-the-shoulder throw from Bob after not quite ten seconds with Kevin landing flat on his back but not looking worse for wear.

Next were two equally burly patrol officers whose match lasted considerably longer. Both appeared to have their fundamentals seemed stable, the openings fairly hard to exploit for someone that was not better trained.

Connor would be able to knock them both out within a matter of seconds, but his software had several close quarter fighting techniques installed. It would be an embarrassment if he wouldn't be able to beat only minimally trained officers. The move-sets he possessed consisted of several styles from various cultures, ranging from the Israeli Krav Maga over the Japanese Judo and Jujutsu as well as the American Close Quarters Defense. 

The third match was as uninteresting as the first while the fourth drew some cheers from the crowd.

It was one of their few female officers, Sophie, against the tough looking Mike. Mike tried his best, attempting to break Sophie's defense repeatedly, but Sophie was among the best in the department and it was easy to tell that she was only providing Mike with chances to show his abilities instead of throwing him onto the mat right away. Not long after, Mike landed with a loud _thump_ on the padded ground.

Connor fidgeted with the hem of his uniform before he noticed what he was doing and stopped.

Sophie would be a difficult opponent for Hank, not only because she truly was excellent at hand-to-hand combat, but also because she was a woman and Hank would likely hold back. Connor hoped that would never become a problem while facing a suspect.

He remembered Hank's stuttered and apologetic dismissal of one of the Tracies down to the last word and gesture – courtesy of his system recording everything – and smiled a bit.

Hank could be cute. And Connor really wanted to find out what sort of expression Hank would wear if ever he told him that. Hank was usually soft and fond of body contact when they were at home but cute wasn’t the word Connor would use for that, he mused. Though the way Hank blushed so easily when feelings were brought up certainly was endearing and Connor supposed calling that cute would be accurate as well.

“Hank and Robert.”

Connor was startled from his musings and he watched as Hank and the relatively well experienced Robert walked into the center of the mats.

“Your ass is gonna greet the floor, Robert,” Hank edged on good naturedly.

“Keep dreaming, old man."

They both got into a defensive stance before slowly circling each other, looking for an opening. One of Robert’s legs shot out, trying to trip Hank. Hank’s leg came forward as well, his foot colliding with the front of Robert’s and pushing it down in a counter move. Trying to keep the upper hand, Hank advanced, striking at Robert’s shoulder and Robert tried to block it with a hand but Hank negated the move with a circular movement from his wrist. Hank’s movements were sharp and precise, not betraying the amount of alcohol he consumed over the years to dull and numb himself.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

In the same movement Hank grabbed Robert’s arm, other hand grabbing the fabric of his shirt and then Hank twisted around, the latissimus dorsi muscles of his back shifting with the motion and his biceps bulging slightly as he pulled Robert’s arm over his shoulder before bending and flipping Robert over to land heavy on the mat.

Connor had never really had the time to appreciate Hank displaying his strength and techniques before and Connor found that his camera had focused on Hank alone, completely disregarding the other spectators, instead of observing their reaction to Hank showing his strength. Instead he had been fixated on Hank and his movements. The way his hair moved with each motion.

Hank approached him, face flush from the exchange of blows and a pleased grin stretching across his face.

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

Connor felt an answering smile blooming on his face and inclined his head. “Well done, Lieutenant.”

“Come on, Connor, put some enthusiasm in there,” Hank clapped him on the shoulder, though Connor could tell by the gleam in Hank’s eyes that that wasn’t what he wanted to do. “How about a: that was fucking amazing, Hank, never doubted you could kick ass.”

“Wow, Lieutenant. That was amazing,” he tried his best to keep his voice as inflectionless as possible, knowing it would annoy Hank. “For a man your age that performance is certainly worthy of some praise.”

Hank shook his head and chuckled. “You can be a little shit, you know that, Connor?”

Connor rummaged in his pocket and pulled a hairband free. He handed it to Hank who raised a brow.

“Your hair is going to get in the way sooner or later, Lieutenant. I would advise to tie it up before it does so.”

Connor mourned the lost chance of doing it himself but making Hank a man bun or ponytail in front of their department was not going to happen. Maybe he could convince Hank to let him do his hair when they were at home.

Sighing, Hank grabbed the hair band and pulled his hair into a messy bun. Connor tried not to stare at the now exposed neck too obviously. He wanted to run his hand over the skin there and taste the sweat.

  ** _Software_instability_detected_**

During Hank’s next spar he tried to focus more on the match itself and the officers watching instead of the strength Hank displayed. The way his muscles moved and the veins in his hands became more pronounced when he blocked a strike, or his tendons flexed.

Connor even tried to set himself an objection to passively observe, but it did little to lessen the rapt attention he paid to Hank’s body. It didn’t help that he was equipped with state of the art cameras that were able to capture even the smallest details.

**_Thirium_pump_error_detected_ **

Hank was fierce and focused when he wanted to achieve something, and it was clearly visible in the way he held his ground against one officer after another. Connor couldn’t help but want that fierceness and focus directed at him, see him put this strength to use and push Connor against a wall as Hank kissed his processor into a crawl, and hoist him up when his motoric modules stopped working.

**_Software_instability_detected_ **

Wants the surprising core strength between his legs as he wraps them around Hank. Wants Hank to thrust against him with the same force he used to slam Gavin against the mats. Wants Hank to lift him up and feel his muscles shift beneath his skin.

**_Uneven_heat_distribution_detected_ **

Connor was startled at the intensity of those thoughts, his light blinking an insistent yellow. In that moment, Connor was grateful to be unequipped, he could imagine how inconvenient this would be otherwise.

**Executing_magic_music_mixer.exe**

**Processing…**

**Connection_with_** _**dpd3418** _ **_established**

**Now_playing_y40i_plug_me.mp3**

**_Plug me_**  
_**Plug me**_  
_**Plug me, put your USB key inside of me (inside of me)**_  
_**Touch me, fuck me, plug me**_  
_**Plug me (just plug me)**_  
_**Until you erase my memory**_  
_**Take me aboard so that you can touch my big keyboard**_

Lyrics blared loud and sudden from the speakers that had been quiet so far and some of the officers startled visibly at the unexpected noise.

Hank’s head whipped around to where Connor was standing, absolutely petrified, program frozen with momentary shock, as Hank’s already flushed face reddened further.

Connor tried his best to adopt the expression of an android not yet gone deviant, emotionless and professional, as the rather explicit and descriptive lyrics blared in the background.

 **_I'm the system blower, blow blow (blow)_ ** **_  
If it does not fit, push me harder (oh yeah, harder)_ **

**_Motoric_reflexes_error_detected_ **

**_Processing…_ **

**_Recalibration_advised_ **

Connor found the artificial muscles in his face uncooperative but didn’t know what his expression looked like as his system flashed various error messages at him and people started to turn around to where he stood. Whether it was Hank’s obvious look or the lyrics giving it away, Connor isn’t sure, but he was certain that this situation could in mild terms be described as _not good_.

He cocked his head and frowned in fake confusion, hoping that it looked more convincing than it felt. “It appears I have acquired a virus over the inadequately secured internet network of the police station.” His tone was more neutral and calmer than he felt by far and Connor was grateful that at least his vocal module didn’t seem to have abandoned him as his system continued to bombard him with error messages as he tried desperately to cut off the connection to the speakers.

 ** _So plug me, put your usb key, inside of me (I need an update)_**  
_**Touch me, fuck me, plug me, plug me (I need an update)**_  
_**And plug my whole family (I need an update)**_  
_**My ass is on fire, hell yeah plug me harder**_  
_**I think I've got a hard on, plug my heart on**_  
_**I think I've got a hard on, plug my heart on**_

Hank made his way over with determined strides, face beet-red and likely destroying any chance of stopping rumours from spreading.

“This sounds damn serious,” Hank’s voice sounded slightly strangled as he grabbed Connor by the arm and propelled him towards the exit. “I’m gonna take this one to get fixed. Can’t have our network compromised now, can we.”

 _**Let's overload the network, from LA to Mexico** _  
_**Plug me 'till we peak, from OK to** _  
_**Oh no** _

_**Plug me, put your USB key (I need an update)** _  
_**Inside of me** _  
_**Touch me, fuck me, plug me** _  
_**Plug me, plug me (I need an update)** _

Connor felt slightly numb, system now occupied with providing him with various problems that could arise from this, as Hank dragged him towards the nearest elevator and slammed the button, cursing when the doors didn’t open right away because the elevator was on a different level.

The doors were barely closed when Hank pushed him against the wall and there was a dull sound as Connor’s head connected with the metal. Connor didn’t have time to react before a mouth crushed against his forcefully and Connor sank into the kiss with a shudder. His hands scrambled up Hank’s sides, one coming to rest at his shoulder, the other tightening around his neck and Connor was about to move his hand higher to touch the messy bun when Hank’s body pushed forward and the thought was eliminated from his mind for now. Hank was half hard already and groaned low and loud into their kiss at the friction.

“Fucking hell, Connor, you trying to kill me? Who knew you could be so damn indecent?” Hank panted as he drew back for oxygen and Connor needed a moment to blink his way back towards coherency. "So damn hot."

“It was a rather — an unexpected turn of events,” Connor rasped, system urging him to check his vocal modules because something wasn’t functioning properly.

The doors opened with a _ping_ and Hank was back to pulling Connor along, goal clear in mind as he moved towards the abandoned file room at the end of the corridor. He pulled open the door and pushed Connor inside, cursing when he didn’t find the light switch right away.

Hank was at his front again moments later, crowding Connor against the wall, pushing him against it as he reclaimed his lips hungrily, hands stroking over every part of Connor’s body he could reach as Connor moaned into Hank's mouth.

There was a light sheen of sweat on Hank’s body and Connor registered Sodium, Potassium Calcium and Magnesium.

As their kiss began to grow frantic, Connor moved his lips to mouth at Hank’s neck, lapping at the pulse point and sucking, delighted at the way Hank’s pulse noticeably jumped as he did so.

**_Processor_speed_decrease_ **

**_Processing…._ **

**_Shutting_down_tertiary _and_quaternary_background_tasks_ **

Hank’s hands began to tuck at Connor’s shirt, opening it with shaking fingers and breathless curses until he could stroke over the skin of Connor’s torso, drawing a shudder from him. Although his erogenous zones weren’t precisely the same as a human’s, his tactile sensitivity modules were still located beneath each body-part component.

**_Tactile_sensitivity_error_detected_ **

After a moment of eager exploration, Hank turned back to tug impatiently at Connor’s clothing and there was a struggle until they managed to wrestle Connor free from his uniform and rough hands were back on fake skin, tracing and scratching and mapping and Connor’s hand twisted in the fabric of Hank’s shirt.

He nipped lightly at Hank’s throat, hands clenching as Hank’s hips snapped forward to press hard and demanding against his pelvis. He hooked a leg around Hank’s hip, mouth returning to seek lips and wet heat with a low whimper as one of Hank’s hands moved to the back of his thighs to hoist him up and press him against the wall with more force.

**_Tactile_sensitivity_error_detected_ **

Connor wrapped his leg more firmly around Hank, trying to use his agility to the best of his abilities even as his other leg quaked in protest. Hank grabbed one of Connor’s hands, other still holding up Connor’s leg, and Connor moaned into the eager heat of Hank’s mouth at the added stimuli as his body shook. Hank had built up a steady rhythm, thrusting against Connor, both of them shaking with need until the motoric module in Connor’s legs gave out with a last flashing error message and Hank had to stop fondling and stroking Connor’s hand to hoist him up fully.

The soft fabric of Hank’s shirt brushed against his skin and Connor’s now free hand slipped inside Hank’s pants, whimpering as his system was flooded with sensation as he wrapped fingers around Hank’s erection.

“Hank,” Connor whimpered, “Pants.”

Hank seemed to get the hint, helping Connor to push both pants and boxers down until his erection was trapped between Connor’s stomach and Hank’s front. Hank groaned, and the hardness rubbed along the flat of Connor’s skin, leaving behind a wet trail and Connor muffled his own noise into the fabric of Hank’s shirt.

Connor tugged at Hank’s shirt impatiently, hands trailing over Hank’s back when it was finally off and shivered at the feeling of muscles shifting with each rocking movement Hank made.

His hand returned to the hot and throbbing hardness, smearing precum over the head and the rest all over his abdomen as it pressed against him.

“Fuck, Connor, so good,” Hank groaned against Connor’s neck, leaving a wet trail of kisses down to his collar bone. “Tell me what you need.”

**_RAM_temperature_level_error_detected_ **

**_Processing…_ **

**_Cooldown_advised_ **

Connor shook his head against Hank’s shoulder, mouth opening to reply but all that came out were broken sounds as he continued to stroke Hank, pulls getting increasingly faster and frantic as his body seemed to shake apart.

**_Vocal_module_error_detected_ **

**_Processing…_ **

**_Recalibration_advised_ **

His free hand nudged the side of Hank’s face and Hank opened his mouth, saliva glistening on his lips, and took in two of Connor’s fingers, tongue curling around them and in between as he sucked. A helpless sound left Connor’s throat and he could feel Hank’s erection twitch and pulse against his hand as his rhythm faltered and then Hank came, warm release spreading against Connor’s hand and stomach and then Connor’s visuals fizzled out, audio feed filled with static as his RAM overheated and was forced into cooldown.

When Connor’s system came back online they were sprawled on the floor, half leaning against the wall and sprawled against Hank with the man's now cool cum against his skin.

Connor made a soft noise, vocal module not yet fully functional and trailed a hand over Hank's still naked torso and tugged on his grey chesthair to demand attention he knew he already had.

“You’ve become absolutely fuckin corrupted, Connor,” Hank groaned, satisfied, and exhausted as he turned his head to press a kiss against Connor's forehead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it for the musical STD for now, I might do some oneshot collections sometime in the future because I got some ideas left, feel free to add your own down below bc this whole madness stemmed from Lis leaving a comment that had me in tears with laughter and I'm always eager for new prompts or ideas
> 
> Connor: good thing I don't have a dick, that would be awkward  
> magic_music_mixer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Sorry the porn was rather short lived, I'm too tired to write more and I'm sure your minds are all filthy enough to supply the missing details lmao
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed this piece of pseudo-crack, leave a kudo, comment or complaint down below if you want and shout out any mistakes you find! <3
> 
> Edit:  
> I think my commas are fucked bad and hard but I'm too tired to correct it now, sorry for that and all mistakes my sleep deprived brain made


End file.
